Its 3:59 AM where did my sleep go?

This weekend was a bit maddening while watching three 8-year-olds on a sleepover and doing all things fun for April Fools Day or as we have dubbed it Prankapalosa. Was daunting yet fun for some reason my Sunday night got long and troublesome and I had a million crazy dreams. I haven’t had a drink in almost 9 months and I Sunday night I started having dreams of drinking mixed with dreams of ex-girlfriends from the past all things that I have tried to put behind me, they all came back beating me up in my dreams.   This woke me up at around 3 AM but eventually I was able to get back to sleep.

I got back to sleep and was able to be at work around 8 AM which is my normal time yet seems like a full day ahead of most people working at a startup.  When I walked in I just got a strange vibe with several of the leadership team that usually weren’t in the office until well after 9 AM were there.  At this time you may have figured it out, yup we had to let people go.  I have seen it happen in small batches before but this was the first time I have seen so much of a company get cut.  I said goodbye to some great friends I have made over the last year and I will miss them.  After working in this industry so long I do understand its a small world and when you have worked with talented people you will see them again, but I just can’t help to have to reflect on them all.

Tonight I find myself not sleeping again at 3 AM and wondering about my friends.  Pushing out their contact information to other friends I have and writing recommendations.   I haven’t been able to dream tonight but believe it or not I wish my head was filled with ex’s and partying and not the tremendous amounts of worry about the road ahead for my friends and their families.  I have always had a very active mind that could keep me up at night for different reasons but tonight is different and I really don’t know what to do except write it down and get it out of my head.

Tomorrow will be another day that this big blue marble spins around a giant ball of gas and we will keep pushing ourselves down roads of concrete and steel to our ant hills… But until then I am going to try and close my eyes now and gets some sleep.